Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
