even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
