allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
