I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
