I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
