is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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