Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
