she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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