actually, I'm a sock model
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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