it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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