i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
