On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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