I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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