She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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