Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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