i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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