are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
