forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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