I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Shitshow foam night was such a success
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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