Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
