Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Damn victory sex feels great
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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