She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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