He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
it was like eating out sand paper
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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