Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
