you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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