I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He shit in the fireplace
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
