I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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