...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize