I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
