Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
