We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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