I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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