Porn is love you can see.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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