she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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