Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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