I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
then he tried to convert me to islam
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
