I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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