The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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