I didn't shave. On purpose
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize