Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
