God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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