Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
