That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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