i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
