her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
