I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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