If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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