At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
