eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
