I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You took a bar mat shot.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
