Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
