Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
