he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
