So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize