If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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