We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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