Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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