I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
