turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
