I just threw up on my dentist
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
