how hairy? two words: wookie tits
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
