you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
