HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
