i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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